Welcome to Part Two of the series, How to be Homeless. In this section we will discuss how to best utilize free and very cheap resources. However, I have reconsidered the term "homeless" and have decided it is not in line with today's high standards of Political Correctness. Homeless, therefore will henceforth be referred to as "carwith" and homelessness as "carwithness." Thank you for understanding.
The library will be considered first, it being the most obvious public service available if you find yourself carwith. Here you will be able to get out of the rain, make phone calls, use the internet to find a home, read books, upload free CD's to your computer, watch DVDs, and much more. In the whistler library, I have discovered that hot water from the coffee machine is only twenty five cents. Add 2 packets creamer and 5 sugar cubes, and you've got yourself a nice cup o' tea.
Another great way to score a drink or even free meal is to get a job interview. This requires a bit of finesse. For obvious reasons, many employers will decline to hire (or interview) you if you list your address as the public library. The trick is to look sharp and then lie and say you have a home. The morality of the situation is irrelevant--you 're carwith and can't afford to be scrupulous. Personal hygiene is somewhat problematic, and employers are disinclined to offer an interview to an interviewee who smells as though he/she has just finished a shift mucking out stalls. At the very least, you must wash your hair, brush your teeth, and liberally apply deodorant. To wash your hair, I recommend gas station bathrooms, a river, a water bottle, etc. Do not use the library facilities--you must not abuse that resource, and librarians can be tempermental and high-strung.
At least once every three days you should shower. If you have no qualms about having an indecent exposure arrest on your record, you can strip down and shower in the rain. I, however, recommend making a friend for this one. Simply strike up a conversation with everyone you meet. After you have established rapport with someone, ask if they have a room to rent. If they do not, ask if you may use their shower.
Once you've scored the interview, simply show up and order the biggest sandwich on the menu.
Other options and resources will become apparent as you adjust to your state of carwithness and you will quickly become wise in its ways. Good Luck!
The library will be considered first, it being the most obvious public service available if you find yourself carwith. Here you will be able to get out of the rain, make phone calls, use the internet to find a home, read books, upload free CD's to your computer, watch DVDs, and much more. In the whistler library, I have discovered that hot water from the coffee machine is only twenty five cents. Add 2 packets creamer and 5 sugar cubes, and you've got yourself a nice cup o' tea.
Another great way to score a drink or even free meal is to get a job interview. This requires a bit of finesse. For obvious reasons, many employers will decline to hire (or interview) you if you list your address as the public library. The trick is to look sharp and then lie and say you have a home. The morality of the situation is irrelevant--you 're carwith and can't afford to be scrupulous. Personal hygiene is somewhat problematic, and employers are disinclined to offer an interview to an interviewee who smells as though he/she has just finished a shift mucking out stalls. At the very least, you must wash your hair, brush your teeth, and liberally apply deodorant. To wash your hair, I recommend gas station bathrooms, a river, a water bottle, etc. Do not use the library facilities--you must not abuse that resource, and librarians can be tempermental and high-strung.
At least once every three days you should shower. If you have no qualms about having an indecent exposure arrest on your record, you can strip down and shower in the rain. I, however, recommend making a friend for this one. Simply strike up a conversation with everyone you meet. After you have established rapport with someone, ask if they have a room to rent. If they do not, ask if you may use their shower.
Once you've scored the interview, simply show up and order the biggest sandwich on the menu.
Other options and resources will become apparent as you adjust to your state of carwithness and you will quickly become wise in its ways. Good Luck!
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